The Best Cheesy Christmas Cracker Jokes

December 22, 2020
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The Best Cheesy Christmas Cracker Jokes

Christmas Day lunch, or dinner, just isn’t right without some cheesy Christmas cracker jokes. It’s one of the highlights of the days! Pulling the cracker with whoever is closets and getting a colourful paper hat that’s always too small for someone’s head. Fighting over the cheap little toy that’s either a screwdriver set, mini skittles game, keyring or fortune-telling fish, that no one will ever use again. And, of course, reading out the terrible Christmas cracker jokes to the table. It’s always a lot of fun and sometimes, although rarely, the jokes will get a genuine laugh.

Here are some of my favourite classic, cheesy Christmas cracker jokes that are guaranteed to make you groan:

Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?

A mince spy!

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?


How do snowmen get around? 


Why can’t Christmas trees knit?

Because they always drop their needles

What’s yellow and dangerous?

Shark-infested custard!

What do you call a deer that can’t see?

No eye-deer

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?


What athlete is warmest in winter?

A long jumper

What did Adam say the day before Christmas?

It’s Christmas, Eve

What do snowmen wear on their heads?

Ice caps

What happened to the man who stole an advent calendar?

He got 25 days!

How many of these jokes did you roll your eyes at? Are there any that you actually haven’t heard before? Let me know what some of your favourite cheesy Christmas cracker jokes are in the comments! I’d love to know more haha.

I hope you all enjoyed this fun, little Christmas post. If you did then don’t forget to subscribe to Beauty and the Bookshelves. You can also follow me on Instagram, Twitter and Pinterest too. Thanks for reading!

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